Navigating Social Media without a compass!

Navigating Social Media without a compass!

I have written before about my entry into the field of all things social, late in life compared to most. My earlier post,Too Old to Blog??, talked about how I felt coming into it all at the age of 50plus. This is an update!

navigating Social Media!


Trying to understand Social Media is time consuming!

I started this journey in order to promote my books.  Loving Eric & the  Anxiety Workbook. I felt that they had something to say to help people but that nobody knew they existed. I went on training courses, watched videos, joined blogging groups for tips.  I did what I always do, I researched what I did not understand. I gathered information and tips, I followed others in my field and followed those that were not but had achieved the exalted status of being an influencers in this new market place. I watched Stories and read posts. I commented and engaged frequently, whilst realising that most peel just add an emoji and fail to answer the questions posed by the author of the posts. I discovered that this did not matter, any comment is a good comment.

I then threw myself into this strange party, sidling in from the shadows feeling like an uninvited guest who was arriving late, lingering in the shadows, watching the games being played out the glare of public life by the young and the beautiful, the filtered images assaulting my senses. I attempted to find my voice in this cacophony of noise and visual stimulation that felt so alien to how I live my life, for I am a naturally private person who has never felt that need to overshare my life with others. I have tried projecting myself from the shadow into the chaos of writhing bodies who already dominate & own  the dance floor, who sparkle and shine in diamonds and glitter. Even as every fibre of my being said, ‘NO, this world is not for you’. I have continued on, making slow shuffling steps that are a parody of the complex dance moves of more accomplished bloggers/vloggers.

One step forward in social media..2 back..

I have become a little disheartened. I have taken on board advice, I do videos (quite like them!), in my car, in my home..wherever really. I have shared personal events as much as I feel comfortable doing, I update my Stories every day, mixing it with written texts of great wisdom (!) or videos about life events as they happen. I have tried to be real, find my voice Finding my Voice!, be wise and share some of what I know. I have used all of my #, used a # generator and a # shuffler, I use # with millions and ones with 1000’s..I am shaking it up. It is making me feel anxious! This blog now needs me to read it! Anxiety Stops Us Enjoying Life..

The fact remains that my growth on fb is small and my followers on Instagram have no traction. My numbers float up and down in a maddening way, for no apparent rhyme or reason. I actually steadily increased my followers more organically when I paid less attention. I now rest below the 400 mark on Ig and seem set to remain ever thus.

Understanding Social media..

Well I do not understand it all! I am writing this blog because I write to get my thoughts out of my head and also because I have just watched a video on We Blog North  about SEO’s…hence the headings and transparent words used in them. We shall see how it goes..

How to Sleep Well…




I recently posted a blog about sleep, takin from my Anxiety Workbook ( available on Amazon!). It highlighted how important sleep is to our mood and mental health in general. I shared how differently I felt after having a good nights sleep and how it made me realise that I was actually sleep deprived. I was not going off to sleep well. I was waking up at regular intervals throughout the night and then was wide awake from 4 or 5 am.

My brain was whirring, I was composing emails that I needed to write the next day, adding to my to do you can tell, none of which needed to be done at his hour of the night or morning! But I could not seem to stop the loop, and a loop it certainly was. After several hours, my mind would return, as if by magic to the original email that I had composed…and not yet sent!
I decided that I needed to address this part of my life. I researched sleep, because that is often how I tackle a problem and set up my own action plan. I like a plan! This is what I learned, some I used, some I haven’t yet..

  1. Sleep needs routine. Regular bedtimes, not trying to ‘catch up’ on sleep at the weekends.
  2. Lavender helps me to sleep – but be warned find you own aromatherapy oil as for some, lavender is a stimulant!
  3. Have the room as dark as possible. Apparently, blackout eye masks help sleep better than ear plugs.
  4. Have a sleep hygiene routine, it warns your body that sleep is imminent. Have a bath, a shower if you prefer..relax, turn down lights.
  5. Do not use your bedroom for TV…use it for sleep.
  6. Turn off your phone ( sorry!), tablets etc by 8;30 or 9pm. The white light stimulates the brain, firing patterns are activated and slope is the furthest thing from it’s desire!
  7. Learn to meditate. There are loads of apps etc available, there will be one out there that suits you. It is not a contest, you cannot get it wrong! If your mind floats off, that is ok, just recognise it and re-focus on the meditatio
  8. Try not to exercise too vigorously late in the evening
  9. Make sure your bed, pillow etc is suitable for you.
  10. Ensure you have warm feet! But have bedding that keeps you at an optimum temperature.

Photo by Photo by Logan Nolin on Unsplash

The Path Can be Lonely..Why Kindness Counts!

I have written a poem! I have always said that I do not understand poems. Some rhyme, some don’t. Some have short stanza’s and some appear to be a story…never understood it! Then yesterday, these lines were vibrating in my head.

                          Poem & Kindness

I was due to attend yet another TAC ( Team Around The Child) meeting at the school my son attends. He has not coped well with transition from High school to the College, even though the environment has remained the same, the classroom; the teachers and expectations have all altered. Change and a child with many complex issues, does not go well. The last term and a half have been tempestuous to say the least! Frightening as a parent to behold.

I call him Eric & I wrote a book ‘Loving Eric’ about the challenges we faced trying to raise such a traumatised young man. It took the form of a journal mainly, a narrative of the many issues faced and the obstacles put in our way. Help was non existent and professionals repeatedly let us/him down. I am sure that I have often been the subject of many a staff meeting but I maintained my dignity and always asked for help respectfully. Empathy, in my experience was lacking, all too often! Judgement is all too often forthcoming.


I have recently been trying to emerge myself in Social Media. A new skill for really has all passed me by! I am aiming to heighten my profile and have had training and am taking it seriously! However, I have come to realisation..

I have read so many posts that judge parents and blame their poor parenting skills for their offsprings bad life choices. Their children’s rudeness and hostility are patronisingly laid at their door. This may be the case at times but certainly not a blanket assumption that should be made. In all honesty, some of the comments that I have read have ‘triggered’ me.

I feel that a bit of empathy and kindness could heal open wounds and help everyone find a way forward.Please think before you judge…you do not know the life that person inhabits. They may well be doing the best that they are able. Support not superiority in a nutshell!

Photo by Sensei Minimal on Unsplash

Update about Me & Social Media!

I have done another short video, the aim being that I become more natural as I go along! Following the training last week from Meg @ Clockwork PA, I have endeavoured to put it all my new found knowledge into practice. So I have been tweeting, blogging, vlogging, Facebook posting and linked in sharing! I am also on instagram! It feels like a full time job but one that is not generating any income! I have tried to set myself a daily schedule so that I feel in control of it , not the other way around! I try and do some liking and commenting before 9am and then do some writing in between housework and clients ( I am a therapist!).

I then do some more in the afternoon but I try to turn off all notifications by 9pm. I am aware that I feel that it is taking up a lot of my time, with no sense of return. My followers are lovely, but I know them all! I do not seem to be gathering a tribe! I am also all too aware that I am impatient! Normally there is a result from my endeavours but this is not the case in this new realm. I am enjoying the writing and the video’s seems to be very quick way of encapsulating  my thoughts for the day. The fact that I now know to record on my IPAD and then upload onto Youtube feels like a breakthrough! It is quick,  the captions and subtitles  appear like a modern day miracle! (I have been told that they are important for those viewing surreptitiously!). I then can share really easily with all of the platforms.

I just realised that I have not eaten breakfast yet and it is 11;30am! Where has my day gone….oh just one more ‘like’..

I Find my self lost in Social Media…Who knew!!