LAURA MORRISSEY COUNSELLING 11 MARCH 20191
This time of year for parents can be as stressful, if not more so than for the people who are actually sitting the exams. This is for many reasons:
1.We want our children to thrive
2.We want them to reach their full potential
3.We did not do as well as we could have/should have & don’t want them to make the same mistakes that we did
4.We see the mistakes rolling out in front of our eyes
5.We do not actually have any control
I have just read some top tips on google and I found myself laughing at the tips that I saw. It was all about establishing a good study routine with our children, helping them to timetable study, encourage and check their learning. I myself have sat through too many parents evenings that have shared all of these tips to us, the attendees. I am not saying that this advice is incorrect, it absolutely sound in itself but..
I have found through my one personal experiences with 3 children who have navigated this path , that the last thing they want or would accept was my help to study or to plan. This in itself led to more stress all around, more arguments and less work being done.
I feel that if a young person will accept this help then they probably don’t really need it! Not always the case I know, but I have a suspicion that it more true than not! If we try and impose, the less we achieve. Yes, we can and should encourage but to set a strict ‘you will sit down and study for 3 hours a day’ timetable, the chances are that no learning will occur but a lot of music will be heard!
What is the best thing to do? This depends on your young person, you know them best. The best advice is to encourage healthy routines:
1. Sleep well
2. Eat well
3.Less phone time
4.Good study habits, be organised, have a timetable
6.Don’t give up on socialisation
7.Focus on the goals
8.Have a goal
9.Have a calm place to study
10. Be available to talk or encourage them to talk to another adult if they seem stressed
If none of this works too well, then we need to think like a teenager. We need to get into their brains and find other ways to try and steer them with a light touch. Communication channels need to be kept open.
My Anxiety Workbook has many tips in, that are empowering for all ages an dI shall be sharing some other ‘brain based’ and common sense tips also this week.
Photo by Lacie Slezak on Unsplash
Coffe cups :Photo by Joshua Ness on Unsplash